Another Hash Weekend

Another weekend devoted almost entirely to hashing. Last night I stopped by Death By Dildo's and Tuck It Up the Butt's house. They are organizing (Massive) Slutslingers birthday camp-out. Some how I became the entertainment. Geez the last time I was the entertainment was at the Austin 20th Analvarsary camp-out, when I puked on stage after holding the Tour De Chug shirt for 2.5 hours (good times). Well there's no stage this time, but I am playing DJ (and I will win back the Tour De Chug, after giving it up the last day of the last camp-out without even drinking a beer ... wuss). Once I got there, Tuck It pulled out his new songbook, he is taking his pursuit of RA rather serious. After a few beers, he and I are reading through are respective songbooks and singing a few songs. Turns out he is rather nervous having to RA the Full Moon tonight. I tell him not to worry, just don't get too drunk to RA (boy have I learned my lesson with that) also be glad the Full Moon does not have a Flask of Doom, unlike the Darkside which is full of that lovely substance called jager, no wonder I am always too drunk to RA the Darkside. I encourage him by telling him if he gets stuck and needs a song, point to Smut Mutt, El Smeets or myself, we will all be willing to chime in and help out with a song. The On-On-On will be at their house tonight, which is minutes from my place. So I can get royally hammered tonight if I wish, most likely I won't because tomorrows trail will be tough, that and the hasher who shall remain nameless said she will crash at my place if no one else does. Like I want some visitors crashing at my place, last time that happened it was skinny dipping at 3 a.m. and naked sauna at 3:30 a.m. Tonight's hash should be a fun hash, the Full Moon is my favorite hash next to the Darkside (hey I founded it, I have to remain loyal), that and the members of the Full Moon have been very supportive of the Darkside.
Tomorrow is my one year hashavarsary. It is hard to believe that one year ago I was a virgin. What is odd, is that most of my friends had been hashers for quite a while and they thought I was too conservative so they never told me about it. Then one night I was introduced to Wendy (Have a Nice Bitch), she's pretty cute so we were sitting there talking and she tells me where my friends go on Sundays. She tells me they are drinkers with a running problem. Let's see you have running (love it) and you have drinking (really love it) I was sold, I was totally in. The first Sunday seemed like a relatively safe one, it is being hared by someone I know (The Body's 68th birthday can't be that tough, it was). I show up bringing 3 other virgins, some friends visiting from Bangalore. When I get there, I know about a third of the pack, which is totally cool. Everyone's having a beer, I didn't, wanted to see how everything was before I started drinking. The pack took off and the next thing I know we are trudging up and down hills on some rather precarious trails. After about 4 miles we reach the first beer check, everyone indulges in a brew, I have water (lots of it). Off we go after trudging through hills for another two miles, we reach a creek and go through it for about a quarter of a mile, the water is cool so no one complains. We finally reach the second beer check. Everyone has a beer, again I have water. At this point I become very silent (a trend that I follow for the rest of the hash). After the second beer check we take off and head for the end, The Body's house. As Free Meat and I walk up the hill to the Body's house, we are passed by the majority of the pack, they are driving up to the house. We get several offers to catch a ride, we decline them all. We make it to the end and indulge in some beer and sushi (have to love having a co-hare who is a sushi chef). Then we circle, I drink for being a virgin, for private partying (I wasn't but it was happening near me), and for sitting during circle. But I didn't drink for auto-wanking (which almost the entire pack did since they decided to drive up the last hill to the house). I was almost entirely quiet during the Circle and the On-On-On, everyone thought I would never return. I was just taking everything in, plus I am a quiet person by nature. What they didn't know is that I had found a home and a family, I loved hashing. The next week I showed up alone, hardly any of my friends showed. People were surprised to see me. the next week the same. I hashed 12 weeks straight before I wanked and the only reason I did was because everyone said I was becoming an over-achiever. I am glad I learned about wanking, hung out with some of my best friends and the best thing was it was those last few weeks before Crotch Rot found out he was sick, it was some of the best times I had with him. I also wanked for a golf tournament (didn't play in it, Free Meat and I drove around the entire day drinking beer and taking pictures of the golfers), I wanked twice while out of town on hash camp-outs and the final wanking was July 4th. Team Drunkest Of Them All (DOTA) took our show on the road. Slutslinger and I decided to boycott the 4th of July hash, since everyone thought we would get divinely hammered and one of us would ensure that we won DOTA. Instead of hashing, we went tubing with the hasher who shall remain nameless' family. So in the past year, I have wanked 6 times, been on 7 Full Moon hashes, been on a Bubba Hash, attended the freedom hash, attempted to be named 8 times, finally named on my 17th run, been to 2 camp-outs, founded a hash, became the RA for the smallest, drunkest hash in Austin, made plans to go to Chaing Mai. All in all, my first year of hashing has been a great one. Let's see how year two goes!
Tomorrows trail should be a blast, great trails, a lot of hills (will be feeling them on Monday), great food and potentially the best On-On-On of the year (after finishing the summer of The Club Med of Hashing that is saying a lot). One thing that does worry me is the warning on the hash web page, "Vertigo sufferers pls wank." Guess now is as good a time as any to try and conquer my fear of heights.
On-On
Day Old Fish