Chuck Norris Trail Stats
Trail# 1208 (March 5, 2006)
Trail: 1208 Prepare for Chuck Norris' Birthday Trail
Hares: 3 She Mussel Bitch, Day Old Fish, C'em Cummin
Start: 2:06pm End of Pioneer Farms Road
BeerCheck: #1 North Oaks Park
End: 4:40pm Walnut Creek Park
Miles: 5.3
Temp in Circle: 81 F
Pack: 50
Visitors: 6 4Fs (eATMe H3), Fire In The Ho (eATMe H3), Hermaphrodites On Unicycles (Hill Country H3), Just Steve K., Tube Of Meat (Hill Country H3), Wet Spot (Brenham H3)
New Boots: 3 Just Charlie (Chuck Norris Trail), Just Josh (w/Social), Just Richard (Chuck Norris Trail)
Six Week Wankers: 6 Divine Bovine (18wks), Glow Worm (11wks), Limestone cOW!boy (7wks), Lost N Mound (14wks), Trojan Whore (10wks), Wanksgiving (6wks)
Trail Wankers: 5
Awards: 1 Day Old Fish=69 Trails
Namings: 0
Transplants: 0
Maps: Trail Map Trail Elevation GPS Tracks courtesy of TAF and blASSt Zone
AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)
Trails 17
Longest Trail
8.4 miles (Massive) Slut Slinger, Day Old Fish
7.6 miles blASSt Zone, Cumonawanalaya, Father Syphilis, Free Meat, I Pee Freely
7.3 miles Squeeze Box, Fuck U Knave, Blow Hole
Shortest Trail
3.5 miles Speedie Edie, The Body, Try A Fuck (TAF)
3.7 miles Wh-Oreo, All Shaft No Head
4.3 miles Lewis and Cock, The Body, Father Syphilis, C'em Cummin
Largest Pack
58 Brownie, She Mussel Bitch, SmegmaBalls, Death By Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt, Pumper Up The Butt, The Body, Batguano Man
57 Social Retard, Easy Access
53 Heavin' Semen, RainBlow Not-So-Bright
Average Trail 5.7 miles The trails will be in the range 4.3-7.1 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack 42 The packs will be in the range 33-51 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance 28%
Average Trail (2005) 5.5 miles The trails were in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2005) 40 The packs were in the range 27-53 on 68% of the trails.
Active Hashers 132 58% Harriers, 42% Harriettes
Inactive Hashers 416
Six-Week Wankers 42 Average Weeks Wanking= 13
NFHN19
Visitors34
New Boots 24 And 18 were frightened away by the experience!
100% Attendance
Day Old Fish 100%
Great Dane Pain 100%
The Body 100%
Tuck It Up The Butt 100%
Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
Just Barbara (w/blASSt Zone) 67%
Awards Earned (Active Hashers Only)
666-999 Trails 1 Crusty Beaver
500-665 Trails 2 Ram Rod, She Mussel Bitch
250-499 Trails 10 Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Cherry Popper, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pumper Up The Butt, SmegmaBalls, The Body, Twin Peaks
100-249 Trails 26
69-99 Trails 4 Creamadonna, Day Old Fish, Home Alone, Pork Pushing Pimp
Trail: 1208 Prepare for Chuck Norris' Birthday Trail
Hares: 3 She Mussel Bitch, Day Old Fish, C'em Cummin
Start: 2:06pm End of Pioneer Farms Road
BeerCheck: #1 North Oaks Park
End: 4:40pm Walnut Creek Park
Miles: 5.3
Temp in Circle: 81 F
Pack: 50
Visitors: 6 4Fs (eATMe H3), Fire In The Ho (eATMe H3), Hermaphrodites On Unicycles (Hill Country H3), Just Steve K., Tube Of Meat (Hill Country H3), Wet Spot (Brenham H3)
New Boots: 3 Just Charlie (Chuck Norris Trail), Just Josh (w/Social), Just Richard (Chuck Norris Trail)
Six Week Wankers: 6 Divine Bovine (18wks), Glow Worm (11wks), Limestone cOW!boy (7wks), Lost N Mound (14wks), Trojan Whore (10wks), Wanksgiving (6wks)
Trail Wankers: 5
Awards: 1 Day Old Fish=69 Trails
Namings: 0
Transplants: 0
Maps: Trail Map Trail Elevation GPS Tracks courtesy of TAF and blASSt Zone
AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)
Trails 17
Longest Trail
8.4 miles (Massive) Slut Slinger, Day Old Fish
7.6 miles blASSt Zone, Cumonawanalaya, Father Syphilis, Free Meat, I Pee Freely
7.3 miles Squeeze Box, Fuck U Knave, Blow Hole
Shortest Trail
3.5 miles Speedie Edie, The Body, Try A Fuck (TAF)
3.7 miles Wh-Oreo, All Shaft No Head
4.3 miles Lewis and Cock, The Body, Father Syphilis, C'em Cummin
Largest Pack
58 Brownie, She Mussel Bitch, SmegmaBalls, Death By Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt, Pumper Up The Butt, The Body, Batguano Man
57 Social Retard, Easy Access
53 Heavin' Semen, RainBlow Not-So-Bright
Average Trail 5.7 miles The trails will be in the range 4.3-7.1 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack 42 The packs will be in the range 33-51 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance 28%
Average Trail (2005) 5.5 miles The trails were in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2005) 40 The packs were in the range 27-53 on 68% of the trails.
Active Hashers 132 58% Harriers, 42% Harriettes
Inactive Hashers 416
Six-Week Wankers 42 Average Weeks Wanking= 13
NFHN19
Visitors34
New Boots 24 And 18 were frightened away by the experience!
100% Attendance
Day Old Fish 100%
Great Dane Pain 100%
The Body 100%
Tuck It Up The Butt 100%
Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
Just Barbara (w/blASSt Zone) 67%
Awards Earned (Active Hashers Only)
666-999 Trails 1 Crusty Beaver
500-665 Trails 2 Ram Rod, She Mussel Bitch
250-499 Trails 10 Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Cherry Popper, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pumper Up The Butt, SmegmaBalls, The Body, Twin Peaks
100-249 Trails 26
69-99 Trails 4 Creamadonna, Day Old Fish, Home Alone, Pork Pushing Pimp
posted by dayoldfish at 11:27 AM
1 Comments:
Chuck Norris never follows flour at a hash. He uses his superhuman sense of smell and it leads him directly to the beer checks. Sometimes it accidentally leads him to a beer truck like in Wisconsin the week before last. Chuck pulled the beer trailer off into the shade and drank all of the beer before the driver ever knew it was missing. Chuck Norris never calls Beer Near! If he did it would break your eardrums.
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