Bipolar
A good deal of you know that recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2, for those of you who don't, this is my big coming out party (no Browneye, not that kind of coming out party, so stop shaking your ass around). Most people freak out when they are diagnosed, I was somewhat accepting of it, since I knew with treatment, I could llive a happier life. Of course, on a daily basis I have to face that if I don't follow my treatment, I could quickly ruin my life or worse. Not like it is any big deal, I just have to take pills, pay attention to how I feel and listen to you guys when you say I am actining like a nut.
There is a stigma concerning people with bipolar disorder, I would like to take a moment and try to erradicate that notion. It is a genetic disorder, it is something that we were born with, we received a gene from our family that made us more prone to have this disorder. I am not crazy, I am not going to run away from life and become homeless, I rarely ever hear any noises or halucinate (well sometimes when I drink), for all intents and purposes, I am a somewhat normal person, I just have mood swings.
Since seeking treatmment, I still have my wild outbursts of mania, sure mostly when I am drinking, but those are starting to decrease and they usually involve me coming up with some fantastic practical joke.
The only real problem I am having with my treatment is remembering to take my meds, for some silly reason they have me taking them right before I go to bed, I forget pretty often that I and my sleep behavior is as erratic as my moods. When I forget, I am a little off for a few days. Another problem is when I go out and spend the night at friends places and I don't get back to my place until really late in the day, I am a wreck for a few days, I am working on plans to make this occurance decrease.
I would like to say, I am not overly sensitive to me being bipolar. When people who know me ask me how I am doing, I usually respond, "Still Crazy." I know, I just said I'm not, but I don't want people to feel uncomfortable around me when they know. I have a pretty good sense of humor about this simply because I have ruined some wonderful relationships due to my erratic behavior, finally having this sense of calm is great. Maybe I will finally make a relationship work.
I would like to take a moment to thank my firends who already do know, most have pulled me aside and have asked if there is anything they can do, just knowing I have that network out there really helps.
Just so you guys know, I am not on a mood enhancer. I take something usually given to epilepcy patients. It has an assload of side effects, so thus the weight gain, the spacyness, tiredness (the return to caffeine to my life), and the hand tremors (no I am not an alcoholic, it is an actual reaction).
So if anyone has any questions, feel free to post here or email me offline. I am by no means an expert, but I do spend a lot of my days reading about it.
And as for my last post, if I would have received the news about the no go on the promotion in August, I would have probably needed to be checked into a hospital.
On-On to the Weekend
There is a stigma concerning people with bipolar disorder, I would like to take a moment and try to erradicate that notion. It is a genetic disorder, it is something that we were born with, we received a gene from our family that made us more prone to have this disorder. I am not crazy, I am not going to run away from life and become homeless, I rarely ever hear any noises or halucinate (well sometimes when I drink), for all intents and purposes, I am a somewhat normal person, I just have mood swings.
Since seeking treatmment, I still have my wild outbursts of mania, sure mostly when I am drinking, but those are starting to decrease and they usually involve me coming up with some fantastic practical joke.
The only real problem I am having with my treatment is remembering to take my meds, for some silly reason they have me taking them right before I go to bed, I forget pretty often that I and my sleep behavior is as erratic as my moods. When I forget, I am a little off for a few days. Another problem is when I go out and spend the night at friends places and I don't get back to my place until really late in the day, I am a wreck for a few days, I am working on plans to make this occurance decrease.
I would like to say, I am not overly sensitive to me being bipolar. When people who know me ask me how I am doing, I usually respond, "Still Crazy." I know, I just said I'm not, but I don't want people to feel uncomfortable around me when they know. I have a pretty good sense of humor about this simply because I have ruined some wonderful relationships due to my erratic behavior, finally having this sense of calm is great. Maybe I will finally make a relationship work.
I would like to take a moment to thank my firends who already do know, most have pulled me aside and have asked if there is anything they can do, just knowing I have that network out there really helps.
Just so you guys know, I am not on a mood enhancer. I take something usually given to epilepcy patients. It has an assload of side effects, so thus the weight gain, the spacyness, tiredness (the return to caffeine to my life), and the hand tremors (no I am not an alcoholic, it is an actual reaction).
So if anyone has any questions, feel free to post here or email me offline. I am by no means an expert, but I do spend a lot of my days reading about it.
And as for my last post, if I would have received the news about the no go on the promotion in August, I would have probably needed to be checked into a hospital.
On-On to the Weekend
posted by dayoldfish at 1:27 PM
8 Comments:
It was so much cooler back when it was called manic depression.
Or strippers that can spin on the pole with either hand.
Good thing doctors are smart. And that you can still drink.
Oh I am so glad I can still drink
I am staying away from my doctor. If they don't tell me I am crazy then I really must not be.
Hey, at least you understand the disease and know the treatment. This means your life will just improve...
On-On to better days :)
You have a lot of people that love you, they will take good care of you
Once you get into a routine I'm sure you'll be good. It's just goodthat you figured all this out now while you still have your whole life ahead. You always have a place to crash if you ever come to Houston. Too bad they can't give you pills to make you less gay, but at least you can still drink.
I promise you that things will get better. I was diagnosed with the disorder about 10 years ago. Since then, I have to make sure that I have a clear picture of my well being and the direction that my life is heading. It’s important that I make sure that I keep myself in check and that I really know what I am feeling and why. It’s been a huge an adjustment and times I feel tremendous guilt and shame for feeling depress and etc. but I remind myself that knowing that I my a genetic disorder allows me to be proactive with me treatment. I won’t say that it never gets hard but it is manageable. At times it can affect every aspect of my life; my thoughts, my health, my balance/coordination, my moods, my relationships and on and on. The key is to never forget that you do indeed have a disorder and to take care of yourself. I hope that you feel well soon.
HOV
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