Great Day

Last night after work I jetted down to Run-Tex to take part in the Pub Run, first problem I went to the Lake Austin one not the Riverside one. Well a quick trip to Riverside and I make it there to have a beer before the run starts. Leg one our journey is a trip down the trails of Town Lake ending at Deep Eddy Cabaret. Along the way I see a runner I recognize, an ex. Unfortunately she recognizes me too, needless to say she bitches me out (our break up did not go we, dumped her via voice mail, someday karma will catch up to me) and delays me. So when I get the chance, I take off running and catch the group at at Deep Eddy (great bar cheap beer). Well after a couple of beers at Deep Eddy we are off again. JT and I decide to not run with the group and takje a littlle detour to El Arroyo for a beer, a non-hasher Melissa joins us. We get there order our drinks and as we get them the rest of the group runs by, we flag another hasher to join us, so Edie stops running and has a margarita. We finish our drinks and take off to Opal Divine's, have a few beers there then it is off to 6, well all the hashers (JT, Bart, Edie, No Hands {have not learned his real name yet}, along with Melissa and myself) stop off at The Gingerman for a pint. We then catch up to the rest of the group at 6, kind of a yuppie bar. We have a couple drinks there, this was the offial end, but not for the hashers and Melissa. We take off again this time to Side B. We had all thought it burned down with the Bitter End, it didn't. A few drinks here (by the way they have a special tip jar for the employees left unemployed by the burning of Bitter End, stop by and tip big) and then off to our cars where JT was bright enough to stash a cooler of beer. Once those beers were imbibed, some of us felt a need to eat, so Bart, Melissa and I headed over to Aussie's where I had a fantastic sandwhich. So I finally make it to my car, check my voicemail, whoops it is midnight and I was supposed to be over at the girl I am datings house at 9:30. Well I give her a call to see if it is too late to come over, of course it is, which I am thankful for because I am exhausted. Go home and sleep like a baby. Today I woke up completely refreshed, headed over to Taco Deli for some wonderful tacos, go to work and am prepared to have a great day. I open my email, and what awaits me a message from the girl I am seeing saying things have gotten to complicated and she wants to stop seeing me (hey karma caught me). Well I could get all bummed and sad and depressed, but this weekend has too many great things going on. I am not going to get upset about this. This weekend is going to rock, so I will do it sans girlfriend, big deal. I am going to have a great day at work, a great evening at Alisa's party, a wonderful time at the Keep Austin Weird and a great Hash. Life only sucks if you let it.

Today

I woke up today thinking it was going to be a great day, boy was I wrong. Shortly after arriving to work, I receive an email from the girl I have been dating. In the email she asks if I have been seeing anyone else, of course my response is no. And since she asked me, I returned the question, her answer was no, but she does have a date next week. I have known since the beginning that she had wanted to keep things somewhat open, but hey, if you make it 3 months without either person seeing someone else, this just seems to be a step backwards. After several emails, it appears her reasoning behind this is the fact that she will not allow herself to fall in love with anyone right now. I don't actually think I am ready to quite fall in love right now, I am still getting over the last 2 times I thought I was in love.
She said she is really happy seeing me, she wants to continue seeing me, just not fall in love with me. Which as previously stated, at this juncture I am not ready for love.
Maybe I am egotistical, maybe I am a little self-absorbed, but how could she honestly say she is happy with me and where we are right now and want to see someone else. If we had been seeing other people this whole time then yes, I could see it, but essentially we have been exclusive for 3 months, almost 4. This just seems like a huge step backwards, I really believe I will start to resent her if I continue dating her and she sees other people. I don't think I can handle that again, with everything that happened between K and I (I still have trouble saying her name). Right now I should be in a good mood, I have a great next few days planned. Have a little friend event tonight, heard from one of my dearest friends today, have a Pub Run with the Austin Duatheletes tomorrow, a good friends bday party on Friday, the Keep Austin Weird on Saturday and then waht should be a good hash on Sunday. I now know that I am going to be in a crappy mood for all these events. But hey, I always find a way to have a good time, if not my friends will make me have a good time, don't want to piss off the asian mafia.

Wednesday

So tonight is Vodka fest at Cool River, being hounded by several people to go. I guess I will, should be pretty fun. Of course I could always skip it, take the money I would save by not going and go to Eastward Bound and buy the Oni Masks that I saw there today. But today I am feeling great, have even been doing my part to help other people's moods. I loook outside and I realize what a wonderful town Austin is to live in and what a great bunch of people I have surrounded myself with. YEAH AUSTIN!! YEAH TIMMY!!! Gosh this is gay, but not as gay as raf

Moods

I have become a cliche, it's very hard to admit it, but it is true. I am one of those over-educated under-achieving people. What makes it worse is the fact that I live in Austin, a town full of people like me. I came to this realization about two weeks ago and since then, I have been horribly sad. My closest friends have realized that I am sad and are genuinely worried; but how do you tell them the reason. Well they are my friends, it should be easy to tell them, guess I am just a little ashamed of being a cliche. I guess that is why I am writing this. Why should I be sad? I love my life, my friends, my job, even my social activities. Maybe all I need to do is purge these thoughts, an emotional vomit if you will. Or maybe I just need to go visit my home town, to remember why I left for college, to remember why i took a year off to travel, to remember why I went to grad school. Maybe I am not a cliche, maybe I am just afraid of going home. Well I feel .... We will see what new and exciting things tomorrow holds.