icing

Corey's Last Hurrah

My friend Corey will be having his second child on Wednesday, so last night Bad Jimmy and I took him out. Of course being the old men that we are, the night was pretty tame.

We started off at Hooter's, instead of watching the girls, we mainly discussed geek stuff and watched the football game. We also discussed whether we were going to go someplace afterward or just call it a night since we were old wusses. We decided on making a quick stop by Perfect 10, well $200 and 20 lap dances later we were having a great time. Just kidding, we ended up mainly discussing geek stuff. Corey was the only one to get a lap dance. One stripper came up and talked to me, she was pretty and all, during the conversation she mentioned that she has a kid, well that is always a turnoff from a stripper. It actually turns out she has six kids and wants more (major turnoff). Well Corey and her discussed baby stuff for about an hour.

After we left, I was driving Corey home and we of course had to have one more drink. So it was off to Canary Roost, where shots and beers were consumed. We also had the opportunity to meet the owner of the Canary empire. Then we decided to drunk dial Trevor, turns out he was actually in Austin, so he and Julian met us at Corey's house. Where we continued drinking till Corey passed out. Then Julian, Trevor and I went in search of Breakfast, which was kind of a pain in the ass, two kolache places and a pancake house were not open at 5:00. We finally decided on a Donut shop. At some point they dropped me off at Corey's where I passed out.
This morning I woke up with a killer hangover, Corey did not even notice me on his couch when he went to work, I about gave his wife a heart attack when I woke up and she was in the kitchen.
Oh what a tame life I lead.

Kiss my converse

Am I the meanest?
Sho'nuff.

Am I the prettiest?
Sho'nuff.

Am I the baddest, mo-fo, low-down, around this town?
Sho'nuff'

Well, who am I?
Sho'nuff.

Who am I?
Sho'nuff.

I can't hear you.
Sho'nuff'

The Shogun of Harlem!

Here I am

I have not been writing for quite a while, reason being, I have not been bored at work. For that matter I have not been at work. Well now I am back.

Well, what should we discuss? The house warming party was a huge success! What should have been a few hours of swilling wine turned into drinking till 3 am. And there were only a few hashers there, my non-hasher friends are crazy.

There have been many parties over the past few months, the only highlight I can think of is a couple of weeks ago I was so drunk, I fell in my bushes while trying to unlock the door. Thanks for the ride home Head Banger.

Brownie was in town this past weekend. Over course we were at the Barfly, getting royally hammered with Squeaky Cheeks, Two drinks away from my sister, Pornoratti and Just Head. The drinking lasted quite late, Brownie was the first to pass out, Then Cheeks, then Head and lastly me.

The next morning, Brownie had set his alarm for 5. I could here it in the living room, went and tried to wake him up, but it was useless. Since I was up, I went home, where I tried to get some sleep before having to help Alisa move. While moving, totally fucked up my right ankle.

well that is all for now

On-On to Happy Hour

MIA

Some of you maybe wondering why I have not been posting lately. The answer is quite simple, when I am at home, I have been working on unpacking since the move. When I am at work, I am either really busy or reading (since I don't read at home anymore and I really need the escapism reading provides). The only reason I am posting today, is I forgot to bring a book to work today.
Well back to work.

btw, I had a great birthday celebration. Thanks to everyone who attended.

Part Two

The intervention went quite welll, I was back to my old self, hanging out at the local dives, introducing myself to the new bartenders and trying to score with all the hotties.
Shortly after the intervention though, i received a call from a friend, one of my drinking buddies. She bribes me with a pedicure (seriously not gay, nothing better than having a hot asian chic give you a foot massage while you swill hooch), what is the trade off on this bribe? Keep her company while she is dragged off to church by a mutual friend.
When I entered the church, there was a slight burning sensation, had not felt this way since the last time I was in a church. As we entered, I hear singing, electric guitars, drums, bongos, the whole shebang. "Oh, great it's one of those churches!" We take our seats and the person who took us hostage for the evening tells us that since it is a Wednesday, there will be no preaching, "LIAR!!!!" They sang for an hour, then the preaching began. An hour later it was over, I was pale and shaking. I looked like a heroin addict on his third day of rehab. What made it worse, was there is a singles weekend coming up and my two friends are trying to sign me up. Groan! Sure the girls there were hot, but I really don't want to have the Jesus talk with them
During the trip to Chon Som, I was pretty quiet, later as I entered, there were several hashers to see how my church experience was. All I could say was, "Jesus can't go hashing because he is nailed to the cross! Free beer to all the hashers, free beer to all the hashers. Free beer for all the hashers. Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves." Then I yelled for Justin to bring me a Lonestar.
Guess church wouldn't be so bad, if you took out the preaching, the people saying amen and getting down on their knees to praise something, the women crying. Pretty much if you left it with the music and the hotties, plus added some booze, it wouldn't be a bad time.


By the way, most of this part of the story is true.

Intervention

I never thought things would get so bad that I would need an intervention, but tonight when I arrived home the first thing I saw was a priest. SHIT! Then I recognized who was throwing the intervention, several bartenders I knew very well. Next thing I know, I am tackled by the priest, who is slinging Jager around like it is holy water. "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you. Come on Tim, Jesus was a party guy, he threw bashes all the time, you know the whole water into wine thing. Of course he can't go hashing because he changes the beer to wine, but hey other than that he was an okay guy." Brian, from the Hideout, comes up and starts funneling Tuaca down my throat. Joe, from Grafitti's (I know it closed, but this is my weird day dream damn it) starts shoveling Jello shots my way. From out of no where, Slut shows up and say, "Mi compadre, walk away from the light. Come back to the Dark Side." He tossed me a Miller Lite and ...

To be continued on the next episode of
The Young and the Hashers

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