I miss her

I miss the emails I receive throughout the day
I miss the smile I get when her emails arrive
I miss the calls
I miss making lunch plans
I miss her coming over for lunch on my days off
I miss treating her to new kinds of food
I miss holding her while we watch movies, kissing the nape of her neck, nibbling her ear
I miss how she inspires me to use the things I learned in school, be it writing or educational theories
I miss discussing books with her
I miss giving her books to read
I miss a lot of things and I can no longer bare to list them.

I need to eat, maybe balancing my blood sugar will make me feel better.

JT will probably crucify me for this, but you know what, I feel like crap and saying this makes me feel better

I needed something to make me feel better, so when I was in the restroom, all the urinals were in use, and all of us needed a little tension breaker. So I said, "Malbert pees red." A quote from the 80's slasher spoof Student Bodies. Someone laughed, the two other guys looked even more uncomfortable. My work here is done, I feel great. Maybe later I will go in the restroom and go to a stall and say, "Corn? When did I eat corn? That usually clears a rest room.

This Weekend

Saturday night I received a few invitations to go out, but I wanted to veg for a little bit, so I sat around watching the 100 scarierst moments in film on Bravo. By the time I finally finished watching it, I had the heebie jeebies so I decided to stay in.

Sunday, I skipped the hash to hang out with friends. It was essentially an all day drinking fest, have not had one of those in a while. No one was really drinking to get hammered, but we were drinking pretty steadily, everyone pacing themselves. It was a great time, most of the people who hung out, I saw Friday at the BRC, but some of them I had not seen in a while. It was a great time and I have no regrets about missing the hash. This week I work Monday and Tuesday, then I am off to prepare for the camp out this weekend.

On-On to La grange (Party Chicken Ranch Style)
DOF

It's Official

I am now completely and totally single, not seeing anyone. Any ladies want to hang out?

Sailing

The best time I have had this year was sailing. I love the water. Sailing makes me happy, it makes me feel at peace. It is no secret that my childhood pretty much sucked. It is not like I was unloved, beaten or anything like that, but my family put too much pressure on me throughout my life. The only time I was ever happy as a kid was when we were at the lake or at the coast. When we were at the coast, I used to get in so much trouble because I would always sneak out to go sleep on the sail boat.

So now as an adult, I really don't know how to be happy. The things that do give me some happiness, I tend to hang on to (see previous post). My happy place is a burger stand called Skishores. It is right on the lake. When I go there, all my pproblems are left behind. I really think my next place will be on the lake.

Until then though, I guess I will just have to mooch off my friends and periodically borrow their sail boats. Rob and I did discuss me taking his catamaran, which would totally be cool. Don't really remember the details, something about me paying the slip fees. He already okayed it with his wife, but how could she say no. She has to adore the guy that beat her husband at pool and made him crawl under every pool table at the Poodle Dog for a loss of a bet. Rob is a really tall guy, so it was hilarious to see him on his hands and knees crawling under the tables.

I think sailing on a regular basis will be good for me. It is something I can do alone or with friends. It can involve beer, but doesn't necessarily have to. It will give me the solitary time I need. Will put me out in the sun. Lake chics are pretty hot. I am so glad Rob went last night!

Being Single Sucks

I am so friggin bored. The second Saturday in a row that I have forgotten my iPod. I am sitting in the NOC, trying to find things to do.

I spent the last 30 minutes surfing myspace looking at single chics. Didn't really find anyone interesting, the two girls I was somewhat interested in were both Lesbians, so they are pretty much out of the question.

I really hate being single, I am not good at it. There are really no opportunities for me to meet someone. Everyone I hang out with are hashers and since I have a slight aversion to dating hashers, I am pretty much screwed. There is the work place, but I am in the NOC all day so I really don't interact with people. No wonder my social skills are lacking.

I met someone this week, who so far seems ideal. She has friends who are hashers, so she understands or at least tolerates the hasher mentality. She is very feminine, very lady like. I don't think I have heard her curse, which is somewhat important since I don't that much. I would like to get to know her better to see if she has any substance. I told her friend that she looks like a candidate for my next ex, am I not the charming one. We'll see what happens.

I am seeing someone right now, but it is something she won't allow to be serious. This fact bites, but she told me when we first started seeing each other. I would be perfectly happy seeing only her, but this cannot be. It has seemed like the perfect time to bail for quite a while, but there is only one problem, when she and I are together, I am happy. When we talk on the phone, email, I am happy. Sometimes I just think about her and I smile. So back to me being screwed.

Drink for whining

Drunkest Race in Texas

Yesterday at 6, I took a little break from work to head over to the start of the Burnet Road Challenge. When I arrived, there was already many race participants there. I didn't recognize many of the racers, which was weird, since I was expecting mostly hashers, some of the Austin Sailing Soceity and a few of the Austin Duatheletes. I bought a couple of shirts, picked up the shots for Ginny's, had a beer, socialized and then had to return to the office. I was stuck at the office for the first two hours of the race.

When I was finally able to leave, I left my car at Ginny's and ran the race backwards to meet up with the group I arrived at the Poodle Dog as the first participants were coming in. We spent about an hour at the Poodle, during which I consumed three beers, talked to several friends I have not seen for a while, found out that Snapping Twat has just been hired at Apple (welocme to the froot), explained to many people I was just joining the race, signed on as swimming coach for three friends that are doing a triathalon in June and basically repeatedly told JT I am bored, let's run to the next bar.

After a few beers we were off to Ginny's. Ginny's Little Longhorn is an Austin tradition. During our time at Ginny's, I had two shots (to Todd Gunn), I confirmed yes I am going to be the swim coach, talked to Rob about taking over his Catamaran, talked to Rob about making Ginny's a landmark so no developers could tear it down, explained to many people that I was at the last bar, consumed several beers (lost count), made fun of JT, basically had a great time.

Next stop Billy's, don't remember much about Billy's so must have been boring. Then off to the Draught House. By this time, I must have been drunk, because I tried going the wrong way, luckily several people corrected me. While we were running there, I performed an impromptu mooning of the girl who I moved to Austins for office. A couple of people asked me why, I was unable to articulate that someone who worked in that office broke my heart. At the Draught House, had one beer and then was shuffled off to go get my car, which was probably the best thing, since 1 I had to work today and 2 I really didn't need anything more to drink.

This morning, I woke up in a really bad mood at 6 am. I couldn't go back to sleep so I went for a run. Two and a half hours later, I am no longer in a bad mood, ready to sleep, but unfortunately have to shower and go into the office, c'est la vie.

On-On to my bed, screw doing something because it is Saturday night (anyone care to place a bet on whether I stay in or not?)

I'm an Asshole

I am 81% Asshole/Bitch.

I am one of those people that love to hear the sound of their voice. That and my lousy attitude make for a mixture as toxic next-day-mexican-dinner-ass-drip.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

BRC Tonight

I really wish I could run the entire BRC tonight, but I am stuck at the office till 8:30, 2.5 hours after start time. I will be taking off for a bit to go the the start and pick up a shirt and also something for when we are at Jinny's (note to self, need cash for beer and pickled eggs). As soon as I am off of work, I am driving down to Ginny's to park, then I will be running the race backwards to find the pack. Burnet road is a relatively dangerous place to run, it is poorly lit, very few sidewalks, a lot of traffic, this should make an interesting pub run. Two of the bars they are stopping in, I have never been to before. Most likely it will be at one of these two bars were I will have to intercept the pack. Screw it, I will most likely end up sitting at the Poodle Dog till they arrive.

The challenge is being marketed as, "The Drunkest Race in Texas." This should be interesting to see. I am planning on not drinking too much, since I am going to try and show up to the office somewhere around 9 tomorrow morning.

Saturday night, I have no plans as of yet. Don't think Tuck It wiull be having an improptu barbecue this weekend. At some point, I have to go by there place to test my iPod with there tuner for the camp out next weekend (note to self must put the music they told me to on my iPod, I'll get right on that).

Sunday, run the hash, maybe miss circle.

This next work week will be quite short, only going in Mon and Tues, have the rest of the week off so I can help out with the camp out, which basically means I will be starting the pre-lube on Tuesday night. As my old buddy Duffman would say, "OH YEAH!"

On-On to the BRC Challenge
DOF

On Writing

Yesterday I did something I rarely do, I allowed someone to read a portion of one of my scripts. She thought it was really good and she urged me to continue writing it. At her request, I wrote about ten pages, which is quite a bit for me. I am kind of worried that I might have wrote too much at once. I am even finding it hard to write this post. There is a lot I have to say right now, but I can't get the words out. Guess I will have to hit someone up for some absinthe.

Another hasher in the news

This Weekend

Saturday night I headed over to Tuchit's and DBD's for a bring your own meat barbecue. As usual, I was the first one there, Tuckit decided to grill early, so I could take off to head over to THWSRN's place. Tuckit, DBD and I eat, then people start to arrive, first being Squawkin, then Baby G. At this point it is time for me to head out, on my way out, I see Slut arriving. As usual he is jealous that I am taking off to go meet a girl, poor Slut.

I arrived at THWSRN's place, she was quite uncomfortable, she has an allergy test this week so she stopped taking all her allergy meds. We talked for a while, snuggled, talked some more it was very nice. She asked if she could borrow a book, my choice. I picked out Catch 22, in my opinion one of the greatest pieces of lit from the US in the 20th century. We don't wake up till almost 8 am, it is the latest I had ever stayed at her place.

I head home to take a nap and prepare for the hash. The drive to Georgetown was not that long and really was worth it. The turnout was really good, more than they expected, I guess my emails struck a nerve with some people. It was really nice to hash in a new place, none of us had any idea where we were going, for those of us who left trail, we were simply going on instinct, it was quite nice. The Eagle trail was supposed to be around 9 miles, I never got the exact distance, guess I will have to wait for The Bodies email. There was a lot of great shiggy, and it really inspired me to lay a trail up there. Brownie said he had talked to Twin Peaks and she said back in the day they used to hash Gtown all the time... ahh history lessons are nice.

We had the On-On-On at the Tilted Kilt, had never been there the outfits were hot, it was quite fun. From what I understand Tuckit got them to sponsor the Full Moon, which means I can have Lil Woodrows for the Darkside. After a few pitchers and some food, the crowd started to disperse. In the end, it was myself, Strap On Elvis, Ass Gagger and some just whose name I don't know but she is friends with ASS and Strapon. Strapon suggested we head to his place for some hot tubbing, good idea, two girls, two guys. On the way there, I speak to THWSRN, she is feeling really ill, so I decide to bail on Strapon and the ladies and head to her place. I took some asprin, which ended up helping her out a lot. I stayed over to make sure she was okay. We had our first discussion on Catch-22, she seems to be enjoying it.

All-in-all this was a good weekend, injuries aside and THWSRN not feeling well, it was great.

On-On to work
DOF

What kind of drunk RU

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Bored

I sit here in silence, staring at the displays. This has to be one of the most boring days I have had in a while. I almost wish something would break, so there would be a little excitement. Since it is so boring in the office today, I will blog in lieu of taking down one of our tools or call centers.

So, I think I will discuss last night. I met up with Massive Slutslinger, Tuck it up the Butt, Death By Dildo, Squawkin Little Midget Whore Bitch, Just Scott and Cornholeio at Lil Woodrows. Lil Woodrows is a new addition to the North Austin bar scene. It is a pretty cool bar, when I pulled up there were like a 100 cars in the parking lot, I thought I was going to be screwed finding the hashers. When I arrived inside the bar was really large and open, there is ample seating outside, so the inside was relatively empty. I mosey on up to the bar and order a Bass, first of many, then I find a table and wait for the other hashers to arrive. First one was Slut, since he had the shortest drive, everyone else was coming from downtown.

I ended up sitting next to Squawkin at some point and I start make squawking noises everytime she speaks. She eventually get irritated and pushes me off of the stool, I bang into the next table, scratching my arm, hurting my ribs and getting splinters in my hand. Needless to say I deserved it. I think I hurt Squawkins feelings, if so, I'm sorry Squawkin. Since Squawkin is prone to violent outbursts and I am prone to make fun of people, I moved to the other side of the table. Which was good, since it gave Slut and I a chance to compare who was checking us out. At last count I think I was winning.

After a few drinks everyone decides they are hungry, so we order a pizza since this bars kitchen is not open yet (hey its only been open a week, they have their priorities right, bber first food second) After consuming the pizza Tuckit realized that he had plenty of beer at his house, left over from the Full Moon. Only problem is it was hot. Not a problem, Tuckit and I head (head who said head...) to the market for a 12 pack of beer and ice. The 12 pack was to tide us over till the other beer was cold.

Once back at Tuckit's and DBD's the usual mayhem ensues, we all get piss drunk, Lost N Mound shows up, we drunk email the hash list:

-U fucking daft cunts, if you cannot make the drive to Gtown after those of us who live in N. Austin who constantly drive to S. Austin including new comers, to support the austin hash, u can suck our north austin dicks,

-Sincerely with all my Cock, Fuck U

-DOF
-Tuck It
-The new guy "Cornhilo"

-Channelling Browine and I will never drink yager again.

We emailed not once but twice:

-P3
-You are one of the most respected hashers in Austin,but the level of disrespect you are showing for both the Austin hash as well as the Bubba Hash.........oh shit um........... Traditionally the Bubba Hash is on a Saturday and the Austin Hash is always on a Sunday. If the hare chooses to pick a location that is remote from Austin, then all hounds have the choice to do other things or follow the Hares which technically the Hounds do. The hounds do not have the choice to succeed from the UNION that is the GREAT AUSTIN HASH. So you rebel bastards can suck our UNIONIST YANKEE COCK'S. Succession from the union is only right when you have a major BITCH......So to sum up SUCK MY COCK YOU CONFEDERATE BITCHES come to the G-town Hash so I can blow a wad in your eye....

-With loving respect the Union,

-Tuck It
-DOF
-DBD
-The New Guy "Cornholio"
-Lost N Mound
-And others who wish to keep the Union together.

I composed a good deal of the email, so I am pretty much to blame for all the responses it got. But we did make a valid point, although a drunk one.

Spent a good deal of the evening talking to Cornholio, a recent transplant from the Carolina's. Mainly discussing places to eat in North Austin. He is a sushi nut, so when I Pee Freely gets back from Thailand have to take him by Fujiyama for sushi.

At some point we went through the photos from Texas Interhash, which was great, got to see pictures of my ass in several peoples face. I love being the drunk guy who sticks his ass in everyones face. On a quick tangent, the new pic is of my ass and a passed out Hermaphrodites on Unicycles face.

This morning I woke up on Tuckit's couch, geez that is becomming a habit, he is telling me to get ready for work. I decide to sleep a little longer since he woke me up 45 minutes early. I evenetually make my way to the office, only to be horribly bored. High points include The Clapper showing up for NOC training, found out he is wanking tomorrow. Another high point would be sending out an email in explanation of the emails last night:

-I would like to say that last nights email was sent in jest, see what
happens when some drunk hashers are bored and there is a computer
nearby.

-The idea of a Bubba Hash was discussed yesterday on the Bubba list as
an alternative to driving to Georgetown. It was ultimately shot down
and for once Brownie was the voice of reason when he said, "I will
never drink Jager again." Wait that was a different discussion.
Brownie basically pointed out that by missing Sundays trail, a Bubba
hasher would be unsupportive of one of the most active Bubba hashers
(High Beams). Also they would be missing out on what could be a
really great trail, come on virgin territory, an actual chance to
start a trail and not have any preconceived notions about where it is
going to go.

-I for one, hate to drive and I really hate being stuck in traffic,
which I will be tomorrow on 35 with the construction. But there is no
chance I will miss tomorrows hash.

-If there is an alternative hash tomorrow, I know everyone will have a
good time, just like those of us who make the trip to Georgetown. And
if anyones main reason for missing the hash tomorrow is because of
driving, car pool. Being stuck in traffic is definitely more fun in a
car full of hashers than alone.

-On-On to Gtown
-DOF

This email sparked more discussion, which is good because one of our RA's said, "Announcing an alternative hash on Sunday is a bad idea." Which started people discussing car pooling.


And the last high point would be finding a photo DBD loaned me of Tuckit, Brownie and myself at Texas Interhash. Need to make a copy of that this week.

An hour and a half till the TCU game, and I am running out of things to say. BORED BORED BORED

On-On to Gtown
DOF

One last note, Ring Around the Panty called to explain why he was a no show last night, he fell asleep. That narcoleptic fuck is always using sleep as an excuse. Let's rename his bitch ass to Narcoleptic Fuck! Who's with me?

Secession

This weekends Sunday hash is in Georgetown and there are a lot of hashers don't want to make the trek that far North. So people started posting ideas for an alternative hash. First it was the Bubba hashers, it is sad because Brownie was the voice of reason. He said that one of the most prolific Bubba's was the hare and they should go support her. Also the Bubba's hash on Saturday. This all took place on the Bubba list and the Bubba's decided to go support High Beams or not hash at all.

Well later on, someone who is not on the Bubba list went ahead and proposed an alternative to the Georgetown hash and they even called it a Bubba Hash. I know there are only 15 people on the Bubba list, therefore few people saw the debate on the alternative for Sundays hash. Last night when reading the email for an alternative hash, many North Austin Hashers became quite enraged. After many hours of drinking (by the way, the new Lil Woodrows on Parmer rocks, have a new favorite bar in North Austin), we sent a few email in response to this alternative. Phrases like confederate bitches, rebel bastards and suck our unionist yankee cocks were used.

The email was written in fun, but there was a not of seriousness behind it. As a hound, if you don't like where trail is laid, then go sit on your ass till the next hash, don't start a whiny splinter group, even if it is for one day. Better yet, sign up to hare a trail, I don't know when the last time the guy who suggested the alternative hared a Sunday hash.

The opportunity to hash in Georgetown is a good one. It will be a virgin trail, there is a lot of shiggy up there. Basically it will be a new challenge, no one will know where they are unless the went to Southwestern.

On a side note, I think Squawkin Little Midget Whore Bitch broke my rib last night when she knocked me off of the stool at the bar. One would think I would have learned to not make a squawking sound when she is around, but naaa. I continued doing it for the rest of the night, just from the safety of the other side of the table.

NIN Revisited

As most of you know, Sunday night I went to the Nine Inch Nails show in San Antonio. One thing I forgot to mention is the freak sitting in front of me. What's that you say, most of the people at a NIN show are freaks. NO, this guy stood out. He looked like Judd Hirsch, the guy from Taxi, but not exactly as he looked in Taxi, more of a cross between how he looked in Taxi and Independence Day.. He was wearing these geeky glasses, a button down work shirt. And the weirdest thing was he was wearing black leather gloves. Okay, maybe he is a germ freak, meyabe he was cold, I dunno. It was the whole package this guy was weird. At one point, he takes off and he comes back with french fries. Well this interested both myself and THWSRN, we were waiting to see if he would take off his gloves to eat his fries, sure enough, he didn't. This guy was strange!

Tag

Tag
Brownie passed this on to me, I will not be tagging anyone else. But if you want do it.

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Actually use my Masters for something
2. Get my PhD
3. hash all 7 continents
4. finish a screenplay, novel, something
5. Visit the mother hash in KL
6. shoot my pilot
7. live in a different country again if only for a brief time

7 things I can do:

1. make fun of Brownie
2. cook a perfect Alfredo Sauce
3. pick a girl up in a bar without having to talk to them
4. take a perfectly normal woman and turn her into a psycho
5. summarize the plot to any movie I have ever seen
6. shoot pool better when I am drunk than sober
7. swim the English Channel, at least I was able to between undergrad and grad school

7 things I cannot do:

1. finish something I write
2. bend over and touch my toes
3. quit
4. Consider Austin as part of Texas
5. quit Jager
6. drink coffee
7. eat squash

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. eyes
2. lips
3. smart
4. witty
5. funny
6. hair
7. the sound they make when i grab their butt, a real turn on. So far only one person has done this, but I adore it

7 things I say most often:

1. Wanker
2. pussy!
3. right
4. yeah
5. Brownie is a Wanker
6. check the alerts page
7. drrrrr

7 celebrity crushes:

1. Kristin Kreuk
2. Cecilia Cheung
3. Sara Michelle Gellar
4. gong li
5. Lucy Liu
6. Eva Mendes
7. Jessica Alba

It would be nice too see results from (but not mandatory):
1. Brae
2. Hieu
3. Sara
4. Sue
5. Ring Around the Panty

Mangu, a Caribbean delight

Today on the way to pick up THWSRN, the song The Hurricane came on. Normally when i am going to pick her up, i am thinking about where we are going to eat, today though I was too busy listening to that song to pick out a restaurant. When she gets in my car, I told her to decide, which I knew would not happen. So I just threw out the name of a generic place to eat, Cheddars. She says that is fine. We navigate our way over there and it is packed, the place is decent but not worth a crowd. We are in Phlugerville, which I barely know, sitting at an intersection, when I look to my left and see a Now Open sign. It is for a Caribbean place called Mangu. I asked her if she would be up for Caribbean food, she said she has never had it. I tell her it is kind of like mexican food, depending on where it is from, this place was Cuban in origin.

We walk in where we are greeted by the owner Alex. I ask how long they have been open and he says 3 weeks. We are seated and the menu looks fabulous, some really good choices. Both of us ended up ordering the same thing though, slow roasted pork shoulder, yellow rice and a veggie medley, of course this would be a translation since everything on the menu was is Spanish. Alex comes by and asks us, "Do you like garlic?" we both answer yes and he gives us a complimentary appetizer of fried plantains with a garlic, lime juice, cilantro dipping sauce. This combination was out of this world. And since we were having plantains, I started smiling she asked what, so I had to explain The Family Guy episode where Peter finds out he is smaller than his son Chris.

When are lunch arrives, everything was perfect. We both thoroughly enjoyed everything. Which was kind of exciting, because it was the first time we had discovered a new place together and even better yet we found it by accident. I am hoping that she will want to go back next week, or even tomorrow. I want to ask Alex about the sauce with the plantains again, I really think it would be super good with artichokes.

Recent news clipping

click twice on image to see it in full size.

It really sucked

Last nights hash sucked! I had a totally great idea and it just didn't turn out as I expected. People said they had a good time, but I really didn't. I just was not impressed with what I did. I think the haunted hash could have been much better. If I ever try to do it again, I will try to pull it off the way I want it to. Everyone got pretty hammered, but does hammered constitute a good time? Maybe for some, but not for me. People have been posting that they had a good time. All I can say is I am thoroughly disappointed. I really thought it was going to be better. Plus the turnout sucked. At least some people wore costumes and made it somewhat interesting. Seeing Slut dressed up as Duffman and High Beams dressed as a belly dancer made the whole night worth while. Plus Hermaphodites on Unicycles dressed up as a gift from God was pretty cool.

As I am writing this, we are having a fire drill at work, actually it probably not a drill because I usually get a NOC email announcing a pending drill so we can reroute traffic. I hope nothing happens to the building would hate to miss work

This Weekend Revisited

Saturday after work, I head to Tuck it up the Butts and Death by Dildo's for a little get together. I was basically thinking I wouls NOT get divinely hammered, well those plans went astray when All Shaft No Head produces a bottle of Jager. Jager and I have a love/hate relationship dating back to college. Well the bottle is quickly consumed and the rest of the night is a blur. I understand we went to a titty bar (which is odd for me because I can count the times I have gone on one hand). From what I understand is I was an ass, as usual I have no cash (those who know me, know I never carry cash, I do everything via bank card). Everyone had to tip the girls for me and I understand I was close to being thrown out, mind you I don't remember any of it, therefore it must not have happened. At some point I lost my mug, I think some hasher is holding it hostage. Everyone says I left it at the strip club. Guess I will find out tonight. Slut just called, he is going there for lunch, he is going to see if they have my mug. Guess tonight I may get my mug back.

Sunday morning I wake up in a sleeping bag in DBD and Tuckits dining room. Slut was calling to see what was up, my usual answer it is 9 am, I am friggin asleep. At this point I notice everyone is up and making breakfast, so I get up and grab a Lonestar. All the other pusses were drinking coffee. everyone recounts the horrors of the previous evening, I deny everything. I call THWSRN to see f she is up for lunch, she is. Now the only problem is getting home. I call Ring Around the Panty, since he was designated fish sitter the night before to see if he would come pick me up. He is quite gracious and drives over to pick me up. After a quick shower THWSRN shows up. We head off to Skishore's my favorite place in Austin, the food is good but the scenarie is the best. It is right on the lake so you can see the booats adn skiers go by. Also it has a view of some of the nicest homes in Austin. The place makes me very happy and I could tell she noticed. I am very glad I could share that with her. On the drive there she tells me she is able to go to the NIN concert. You can read about that adventure below.

So I decide to miss the Sunday hash, my first time since July 4th, I also missed that one for her. Both times were well worth it, both times I had a better time than i would have at the hash. So while all the hashers were milling around waiting for start, I was in my bed snuggling with a very special person.

On that note, maybe I should start preparing for tonights hash, not like I am the hare or anything. Wait I am.
On-On to the Full Moon

Nine Inch Nails Show

Tonight I made the trip down to San Antonio to see Nine Inch Nails. Tagging along on this little adventure is THWSRN. I was kind of nervous going to this show because it has been 7 or 8 years since I attended a stadium show. I was wondering if the fact that the venues I have been going to are smaller and more intimate would affect the way I think of stadium shows. I had previously seen Nine Inch Nails 3 times, all 3 times were great.

Queens of the Stoneage opened. There show was kind of lame, they didn't have much stage presence. They seem to be of the theory that loude and faster is better, it isn't. The only part of their set that I liked is when the lead singer was playing bass. The bass player was playing lead guitar at this point. His sounds was more bluesy. But overall, I felt like when I was watching them, I was actually just watching a video. I did not feel connected to the audience or the band.

The fact that I really despised their set, made me worry about NIN more. What if I was the reson I was not connecting with the audience or the band. Within 30 seconds of NIN playing, I was connected to the audience and the band. There set was great, powerful music, strong visuals. At one point I look over at THWSRN, and dhe had this giant smile on her face, I don't think she had ever looked more beautiful to me. Even though I was somewhat sick, I had a blast.

On-On to the Full Moon hash tomorrow, gotta love being a hare

UGGGHHH

After many months of not participating in one of those free offer websites, I have been sucked back in. So far, I have gotten two iPods, but it seemed like it was occupying all my time so I quit. Well today, I decided to look at one of the websites I never completed, turns out 3 of the people I had talked to about it ended up signing up for a free offer. I then notice that they had changed the 20 gig iPod I was pursuing into a 30 gig iPod video. Two people short of the latest iPod released this week. Well after a little obsessing about it, I have gotten another peson to sign up, so now I am just one person short of the iPod. What makes things worse, is I found a site where you can get a 2 gig nano for 2 referrals or a 4 gig for 3 referrals. As usual, I jump on it. First thing I do is message a friend who is junky for these websites. He is one referral short of a nano,so we trade. So now I am just two people short of a nano. I hate this, I hate talking to my friends about these things, I feel sleazy like some sales guy. So this is going to be my one pitch to my friends.

http://www.mp3players4free.com/default.aspx?r=122370 this is for the 30 gig, you have to sign up for 1 offer and then get 5 people to sign up for offers. Offers include: a lot of free trials, Columbia House and a trial membership to Blockbuster online.

http://nanoipod4free.com/index.php?referral=865 this is for the 2 gig (2 referrals) or 4 gig nano (3 referrals). The offers here are a little harder to complete. Most of them you have to sign up for a month of web hosting, gambling online.

If you have any questions email me, please let me get over this obsession quickly.

UGGGGGHHHH

This Weekend

This weekend will be a pretty uneventful weekend. Have no definitive plans for today, except to tease Robin about him not hashing anymore. Other than that maybe go out for drinks tonight and try to cheer a friend up. I also need to work on Mondays hash a little bit, but I think I pretty much have everything done, I hope. Tomorrow, I need to go to REI and check on some new trail running shoes. Maybe I can talk THWSRN into going to Skishore's with me for lunch before the hash (we are running out of nice days and they will be closing for the season soon). Then off to the hash, had planned on missing it, but my plans were cancelled (which is good, I wouldn't have had a good time without the person I was planning to go with). So tomorrow I will be hashing, which is good, since the three hares are runners. Almost makes me wish I had a gay yellow Jersey, so I could make fun of Creamadonna. Well 8 more hours of NOC duty, I can see myself posting a lot today.

Welcome

Everyone welcome Brownie to the world of blogging. I say Brownie, you say Wanker!
BROWNIE

Return to work

I have finally returned to the office, have not been in since Saturday. First thing I notice, my neighbor is gone. Was he fired did he quit, I dunno? Actually he was moved to the first floor. Next thing 384 emails sitting in my inbox. Most of these will be European and Asian reports that I can just delete, but there is some stuff that is quite important. About 20 minutes into reading my email, I receive a call from some micro-manager wondering what I am doing. I inform him of how many emails I have and the next time I will be able to check them will be Monday. He asks me why I cannot catch up in the NOC. I tell him that there are emails in my inbox I must read before going to the NOC otherwise I might make a huge mistake in the NOC. He leaves me alone. Why is it that every few months some manager tries to rattle my cage when they don't quite grasp what it is I do, leave it to my manager, he knows what I do and he leaves me alone. My day feels like it is already blown, and it has just barely started. I guess I cannot be that busy, I am writing this.
I have no clue what I want for lunch, 25 minutes till I leave. I do know I have to drop off film and fill my car with petrol. I was asked today why I used my film camera instead of digital. I like the way, film works and looks. Digital is catching up, but it is not quite there yet. Also, I do not believe I could create the mood I wanted to with digital. Think these photos are going too really set the mood for the Haunted Hash. Time to try and start looking busy again.

She can be a hasher

So EOD wants me to take this marriage thing seriously. Whoa, she totally should have told me that.

Let's see, she can be a hasher but the type of harrierette that men just know to keep there hands off of. They don't have to be my designated driver, the only time I get out of control is when I hare (so it would be nice if they did drive). They must be willing to trade off on house chores, for instance I hate trash and vacuuming, I have no problem with washing dishes and cleaning counters and such. She must be smart, I can hardly tolerate dumb people. She must be witty, a real smartass, like me. She should be neat and clean, I can't have a slob. When I look at her, I have to see the most beautiful woman in the world, doesn't necessarily mean they are gorgeous, but looking through my eyes they would be (further clarification on this EOD, this means I love them so much they are the most beautiful woman on the planet to me). They should have a taste for different cuisines and will to try foreign dishes. Should appreciate the soothing effects Pho has on the human spirit. They should be willing to accept that I will want to go on a hash trip for two or three weeks per year (Chaing Mai 2006 baby) If She Mussel Bitch and Try A Fuck can pull it off, so can I. They must work well in the kitchen with me. A great kisser, lover ect...

They must not be controlling, restrictive, boring, dumb, smoker, excessive drinker, dirty, I am sure I could go on all day.

I hope this is better, I have never really seriously thought about what I would want in a bride, I always though just love.

I have lost my touch

Up until this morning there was nothing I couldn't find with Google. Twice this morning I couldn't find something. WTH? Both things I couldn't find were a series of books. The first series were a series I read when I was 12, essentially the story is the main character is some computer genius, who as a teenager works for some secret agency. The cool thing about this series is at the end of each chapter it gave you the code to program into your computer in order to make a video game. This was definitely one of the coolest series ever. The second series I could not find is a science fiction series. I only read one book in the series, I do not remember the title, the plot, anything really, except the main character was unwillingly in some branch of space military duty. After a wound, he had his foot replaced by that of a giant chicken. I remember this book amused me when i read it as a teenager. I even remember what happened to the book, I loaned it to Art Shires. This completely and totally frustrates me. Maybe it is the fact that I woke up at 4 am to make the drive back to my place, maybe it is the fect that it is currently 6 am. Maybe if I search after more sleep I will be able to find my queries. This is what I get for looking through someones books and finding a Chooose Your Own Adventure book and saying, "I liked this series as a kid, but there was this other one." Off to sleep, that is unless I get compulsive and start Googling again (quick side note, isn't it interesting how Google has become so ingrained in our soceity? It's a verb now. You have never heard some one say I am going to go Yahoo that, or Metacrawler that, but people say Google something all the time. Sheesh, technology is cool YO."

The Bride

Since EOD has decided to find me a wife, I need to give her some search criteria. So far all I have told her was the have to vacuum, not be a hasher and willing to be my permenant designated driver. I believe I need to expand on that since that is a little vague. First she must be smart, I can hardly tolerate dumb people. She must be witty, a real smartass, like me. She should be neat and clean, I can't have a slob. When I look at her, I have to see the most beautiful woman in the world, doesn't necessarily mean they are gorgeous, but looking through my eyes they would be. They should have a taste for different cuisines and will to try foreign dishes. Should appreciate the soothing effects Pho has on the human spirit. They should be willing to accept that I might go on a hash trip for two or three weeks per year and I probably won't want to take them (Chaing Mai 2006 baby). They must work well in the kitchen with me. A great kisser, lover ect...
They must not be controlling, restrictive, boring, dumb, smoker, excessive drinker, dirty, I am sure I could go on all day.

So there you go EOD.

hash stats for my trail

Trail: 1st Lays Gone Wild
Trail#: 1187
Date: October 9, 2005
Hares: Day Old Fish, Ring Around The Panty, Spankin' Little Midget Whore Bitch, Just Scott M., Just
Dan (Apple #9)
Start: Walnut Creek Park
Beercheck#1: Intersection of Lincolnshire Drive and Gamaas Drive
Beercheck#2: N30 24.353 W97 42.447
End: Balcones District Park
Start Time: 3:40PM
End Time: 5:54PM
Miles: 5.5
Min Elev: 652 ft.
Max Elev: 767 ft.
Temp in Circle: 82°F
Pack: 43
New Boots: 5
Visitors: 0
Wankers: 8
Awards: 2 (Ring Around The Panty=1st Lay, Spankin' Little Midget Whore Bitch=1st Lay)
Namings: 2 (Just Rafael (Apple #8)=Ring Around The Panty, Just Jesse=Spankin' Little Midget Whore
Bitch)
Transplants: 0
Trail: See attached maps (GPS track courtesy of Lewis and Cock)

AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)
-----------------------------------
Trails= 50
Longest Trail= 9.6 miles Stay Free With Wings, Squeeze Box
9.4 miles Brownie, I Swallow Wood, Lost N Mound
8.7 miles Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown, Wh-Oreo

Shortest Trail= 1.7 miles Blocked Orifice, Lost N Mound
2.1 miles Smegma Balls, Heavin' Semen, All Shaft No Head
2.2 miles Snapping Twat, Just Head, Just Rob

Largest Pack= 80 The Body, Father Syphilis, Just Jen, I Pee Freely, Great Dane Pain
73 High Beams, Keeper Of The Beams
56 No Hands, Meatpie

Average Trail= 5.5 miles. The trails will be in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack= 41. The packs will be in the range 27-55 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance= 18%

Active Hashers= 142 (60% Harriers, 40% Harriettes)
Six-Week Wankers= 29, Average Weeks Wanking= 14
NFHN= 41
Visitors= 113
Virgins= 88, of which 46 were frightened away by the experience!

"Hashing is my life!"= 8
Brownie (82%)
Day Old Fish (86%)
Social Retard (84%)
El Smeets (96%)
Squeezin' Semen (78%)
Father Syphilis (94%)
The Body (96%)
Wicked Itch of the Yeast (76%)

50-72% Attendance= 19

Most prolific hares
Father Syphilis [8]
Brownie [8]
Tuck It Up The Butt [5]
Death By Dildo [5]
Lost N Mound [5]
Day Old Fish [3]
Blocked Orifice [3]
Heavin' Semen [3]
She Mussel Bitch [3]

Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown [81%]
Just Dan (Apple #9) [100%]
Just Dan A. [71%]
Just Jen (w/Elvis) [86%]
Lewis and Cock [60%]
Spankin' Little Midget Whore Bitch [71%]
Squeeze Box [62%]
Wh-Oreo [67%]

= 666 Trails= 1 (Crusty Beaver)
500-665 Trails= 4 (Bong Head, Ram Rod, She Mussel Bitch, Sperm Bank)
250-499 Trails= 13
100-249 Trails= 30
69-99 Trails= 10
25-68 Trails= 40



Regards, BODY

3 Apples and a Red Head

This weekend, I hared with The Clapper, Ring Around the Panty and Just Jesse (she was named but I don't remember what somthing midgit bitch or something like that). As usual, when i hare, I want things to be perfect. The laying of trail went really well, except for the fact that we were really short on flour (damn you Ring Around the Panty). Once everything started working out, I started to relax, and I started drinking. On the days I hare, I end up getting banzai drunk, I hate getting that drunk. I am pretty much ashamed of it. By the time circle started I was pretty lit, as usual was called out into circle many times, by the end of circle I am totally wasted. I decide to be safe and have the On-On-On at a cash only bar, it should have been safe since I never carry cash. People keep buying me drinks, the last thing I really remember is dancing with some visitor from Boston (just because I am from Texas doesn't mean I know how to two-step, why do visitors always think that). When it is time for me to take off, Every Other Dick rides with me to make sure I get home safely. Well her ride ended up leaving her and she lives like an hour a way. So EOD pretty much ends up crashing at my place. This morning, I was in no shape to go to the office, at first I decide I will just skip the first four hours, then I later decide to miss the entire day. I have now decided that I am going to skip tomorrow too. I have also decided I am going to skip circle the next few weeks, I nneed to take it easy. It should be easy next week since I am skipping the hash to go to the Nine Inch Nails concert in San Antonio.

One last note, EOD has now made it her mission to find me a wife. Scary thought EOD tring to find me a wife. She says I need a hasher for a wife, even a scarier thought. I don't know if I could marry a hasher, I find it hard eough just dating them. We are such a small circle of people, it is hard to have any privacy and to marry a hasher would mean absolutely no privacy. Don't know why I am worried since I am destined to never marry anyways.

That would be me

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Gorilla Detective Your Superpower is Chemical Your Weakness is Bacteria Your Weapon is Your Flash Bombs Your Mode of Transportation is Elephant

What's your Superhero Name?

Well I already have the Masters in Lit

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Proof that I am an egg

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were! You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji. You even answer your phone "moshi moshi." While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope. Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Feel like ASS

The trip to the doctor was rather uneventful, turns out I am sick but not as bad as I thought. I do have an infection on my left tonsil, have to take antibiotics for a while. Also have fluid build up in my left ear which accounts for the dizziness that I have been experiencing. I also have allergies again. This really sucks, for the past year have been telling people my allergies went away since I had acupuncture and now they are back. Guess I need more needles stuck in me. With the weather change, I am really feeling like ass today. The fact that I am going to be pretty stationary all day in the NOC is making it worse. Enough of this whinefest, back to work.
Did I mention I feel like ass?

Pho friends are Phony revisted

Once again I had to eat Pho alone, Clapper was like, "waaaaa, 11 is too early in the day." and Ring Around the Panty was like, "I'm in South Austin and will not be in North Austin till later, waaaa." Friggin whiny cry babies, sheesh. But it gave me time to think about the perfection that is a Vietnamese egg roll. They are by far the best egg rolls and I always look forward to devouring them.
This alone time also gave me time to think of Pho. Pho truly is a panacea. Hungover, sick, sad, pho will fix you. I went to lunch feeling like crap, I arrived back at the office with only I slight tickle on my tonsils, that is until Chris was like, "Dude, what happened to your throat, it's all swollen and shit." So now I feel like ass again (note to self, when the revolution comes, Chris is the first person to be put on the wall). But I have some pho I saved for later, so maybe that will help or at least Chris better hope it helps.

UGGGHH

Last night I was a complete zombie at Debie's get together; but somehow Jan (Heavin Semen) and I were the last ones there. The beer looked so cold and inviting, I really wanted one, but I didn't. I spent the last part of the evening talking to Jan. When it was over we decided to run over to Kerby Lane for some food, couldn't really decide on a place so I picked that one because it is vegetarian friendly and I was sure I could find something soft to eat. We hung out there until a little after 11, talking about her trip to Europe, upcoming races, hash events, the usual stuff.

When I finally get home, some jerk is parked in my parking spot. Normally I would have had them towed, but I was feeling really bad and horribly tired and just wanted to go to bed. Of course this morning I walk out and totally forget my car is not in my spot and I freak out because I am already running late to work. Today has not started off very well, maybe it will get better. Hopefully the Pho I get in an hour will help my throat feel better.

Hypochondria

So here I am sick, being the guy that I am, of course I get a severe case of hypochondria. I am basically displaying the symptoms of a peritonsillar abscess, I know this because I had one earlier this year. I know I have the symptoms because I had one earlier this year. With that bout, my doctor said it had swollen to the point of almost blocking my airways. Kind of nice to know I was almost killed by a kids disease, I have a long history of tonsilitis, I really wish they would just take them out. If I do have this, it will totally blow my weekend, looks like water down downs for me or ice cream down downs if they decide to do surgery. This sucks, the last time I went through this I was at least dating someone, so she babied me, it was nice. Right now I am flying solo, so it will be me all by my lonesome. Although the hasher who shall remain nameless is the one that told me to call my doctor, normally I wouldn't have. I feel like a total loser right now, like I am going to let my co-hares down. I am such a tit

Still Sick

I am still sick, so it is time to ramble. Little Observation: today I was drinking some Sweet Leaf Green Tea with Mint & Honey. The sweet old lady on the bottle looks rather sinister, almost like Mom on Futurama. She has this huge smile that looks like she is hiding something, possibly the cianide she sprinkles in the tea. The label even says Antioxidant Heaven, see she is trying to send me to heaven. I just love the effects of cold medication on my brain.

Tuck It did a really good job on my hair last night, so in celebration of that we hung out till 1 talking and having drinks. No wonder I never get well.

After work today, I am heading to Cool River for dollar beer on the patio. My friend Debie just finished Chemo and Radiation and this is her celebration of being over. This is one event I wouldn't miss for anything!

I cannot wait for this Sundays trail, it should be really fun, Walnut Creek Park is a great park. While scouting trail yesterday, i was inspired to buy a new mountain bike, the trails there are so awesome and it is easy to get lost there.

I came up with an idea for the Full Moon Hash, create a blog for the hash trash, would be great because then the people who went could leave comments.

finished rambling for now.

Haunted Hash Take 2

Information for the upcoming Full Moon Hash. If you have never hashed before come out. Don't wear new shoes, no race clothes. If you hash in other places make the trip, it is going to be fun.



What
Haunted Hash

Hares
Day Old Fish, Tuck It Up the Butt

Time
7:30 Monday October 17

Location
Lovejoys
604 Neches St

Details
A friend at Austin Ghost Tours http://www.austinghosttours.com provided me a list of haunted bars in downtown Austin.
This will be a pub run, bring cash
At each bar, I will tell you what makes the bar haunted and we might be able to get some of the wait staff to tell us some of their personal experiences with the poltergeists
This is a costume optional run, where one, it's time for Halloween
Since it is a pub run, will not be dog friendly
We will be downtown so will not likely need a flashlight
It's a Monday, we are starting early so all you Wankers can make it home early
this will be fun everyone come out!

If you have not been to an Austin Full Moon, make this one your first!

Thought today was going to suck

9:30 I woke up this morning with an irritation from my throat to my left ear. I actually considered calling out sick, but I decided against it, since I need to save a sick day or two for Sluts birthday campout. I arrive at work ready for the regular pain of a Tuesday morning, really wishing I had called out sick, I check my email and they Need a morning Queue Manager. YES, what a way to start the day, skip the Tuesday morning BS and go straight to a little responsibility. Three hours in the NOC as Queue Manager, then four and a half hours as NOC Watcher, I am going to skate through the day.

Now all I have to do is have the thing I did to my hair last night corrected and today will be great. Which hopefully Tuck It can take care of tonight.

On a personal note, my personal life still sucks, but today is a work day so will concentrate on that, for once.

11:31 It is official, I am sick. Full blown sore throat, head ache and what feels like a fever. Today officially sucks. What makes things worse is I am scouting trail tonight after work. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good.

BTW I am starting my boycott of Cafe Mac again, what is up with Low-Fat Chicken Pesto soup, Tuesdays used to be Baked Potato soup. This Pesto Chicken tastes like A** and is actually making me feel worse, hopefully someone is going to lunch at a place where they serve good soup.

12:16 Starting to improve, Judy is going to Bear Rock Cafe and they have really good Baked Potato Soup. Even better she owes me from dinner a couple of Fridays ago, so I don't have to pay. YEAH ME!

1:15 Judy brought me great soup. It is funny how great soup can make all symptoms of an illness go away. Although, I am not quite thinking straight at the moment, really glad I have someone with me in the NOC today. Suzi agreed with me, the Soup in Cafe Mac really sucked today.

2:32 It is official, I am running on auto-pilot. A few minutes ago, I was walking somewhere and I totally bypassed it and went to another office. My notes in the log are rather incoherent as I am sure what I am typing here is. Two and a half more hours, then I can go scout trail and then get a haircut. On a brighter note, posted the information for this weekends hash and also the full moon hash this month. So close to having these behind me, that way I can have new things to be neurotic over. Well I am babbling, laters

SUCK

Today sucked! It was a decent hash, I twisted my ankle a little more, which is a okay. I came home and heard from the hasher who shallremain nameless, she is finally ready for us to be through, which how shall I say just sucks ass. I wish I could be more eloquent, I wish I could say something more insightful, but I can't. Simply put, I am angry, I am pissed off that I cared about her. I am pissed that for the first time in a long time, I was willing to let someone in and it was totally the wrong person. On a totally different note, I think I just saw a Weght Watchers commercial and Cher was singing. Anyone else see a problem with this?

Chilling

The last two nights I have been taking it easy. Thursday, I went over to Free Meat's and I Pee Freely's to hang out. I Pee just left for Thailand and I know Free Meat hasn't been going out, so she needed some company besides her Mom, Sister and their cats. It was a quiet night, Mom cooked for us, then we went on what seemed like an epic journey to find an item for a friend of hers. With that finished, we returned to their house to watch Shanghai Noon, Free Meat had never seen it. This really wasn't about watching the movie, it was more of Alisa and I making fun of Free Meat.
Last night Ring Around the Panty and I hit up Chuy's for some dinner and Texas Martini's, food was good, drinks were great, after that I went home and watched Firefly (trying to watch the entire boxed set so I can go see Serenity, if today is quiet at work, I will succeed).
All-in-all this is the R&R I needed. Tonight, I may stay in also, doubtful, but it could happen. For a guy who likes to do things on a whim, I already have too many things scheduled this week. Hash on Sunday, Wednesday a friend of mine is having a get together because they finished their Cancer treatment, Friday some party, and as usual probably some other stuff I have forgotten about, I know someone said something about Monday. Plus there are some virgin hares who might be doing next Sundays trail and I offered to co-hare. They are quickly running out of time though, the trail I have in mind for them, I have only scouted once, it is easily 9 miles and if done right it won't cross any streets, cross under a few but not over.
On-On to the office, hopefully Ring Around the Panty will come in and bring some beer, unless there is some already there.